The Ultimate Yes

in the stillness of the morning...

In the early morning light before my head becomes filled with thoughts of the day ahead, I look at the candle my friend, Carla made and the words that appear on its front move me deeply... 

"We are the people we've been waiting for.  We are the change we seek." ~Barack Obama

In one more week, our country will choose a new president.  In doing so, I believe we'll choose a new direction that will empower and unite this nation's people in a way we haven't seen in forty years.  It's time for a BIG change and that change is here now.  We are the people.  We are the change. The world will soon see we really can make wise choices.

I've already exercised my right to vote and I am praying (and I don't do that often) that every person who is eligible to vote in this election will do so.  Today, tomorrow, on November 4 and on every day thereafter, each of us can be the change.  I will take the stillness of the morning with me as I go about my day. 

"Be the change you wish to see in the world." ~Gandhi

1, 2, 3...PLAY!

After seven years of dancing alone on the shores of Cannon Beach, I had five others join me last night.   It's been a big dream of mine to bring movement and music outdoors and facilitate dance classes on the beach.  Six of us danced together in the sand, surf and sun in celebration of the warmest day of the year so far.  As I watched these five other people experience dancing on the beach for the first time, I was profoundly moved by their new-found delight.  The moment you see a dream made real makes you believe anything is possible.  I was so flippin' happy I couldn't stop laughing.   

The wonderful technology made available by Apple made it possible for us to each have our own dance while dancing together.   A few weeks ago, I took a financial leap towards this dream and purchased fifteen iPod shuffles.  After synching the hour-long playlist to each device, we were able to listen to the same songs at the same time.  We gathered in a circle for a few moments for instruction-giving and intention-setting and then at the sound of my voice saying, "1,2,3...PLAY!," we pressed the button and we were off.

As the six of us danced in the sand, surf and sun, it was the perfect way to celebrate the warmest day of the year and the long-held wishes of my heart.  It was an experience I'll never forget.  And to think that last night was just the beginning...

Sacred Life Sunday

I've been wrestling with my thoughts most of the day (I'm in the midst of writing my monthly newsletter) and so for today's posting, I thought I'd just let a few words and pictures speak for me. 

I miss the sunshine, the light and being warm.  

A good holiday reminder. 

My nephew and husband will be celebrating their birthdays this week. Bryson will be four.  James will be forty-eight.

This is my friend, Tamara's tree.  Her ashes were scattered here.   

Look What's Burning

I finally lit it.  I've had my Just Do It candle for over a week now, but I hesitated to begin its burn.  I didn't want to light it until I sat down, opened up the file that said, 'shitty rough first draft' and actually wrote something down.  I did that today and I did it in the spirit of having fun and seeing what showed up.

The quote on the front of the candle says, "Better to do something imperfectly than to do nothing flawlessly."  No kidding.  One of my blog readers encouraged me to take the advice of my own newsletter and "Lighten Up."  Ain't it the truth that we dish out what we most need to listen to ourselves?    As the flame gently flickers and delves into the core of the pillar which gives it life, I'm listening.   

A Portrait of Hope & Self-Forgiveness

I did something a little radical this morning to help me with my writing. Some might think the unique method I've come up with is narcissistic, but I think it's rather ingenius given the title of my book - "The Girl Who Looked Into the Mirror".  As you can see from the above photograph, I've placed a mirror on the window sill which is right in front of my desk.  It's my hope this creative (not to mention rather intimidating) solution to my persistent procrastination will remind me to keep showing up and telling myself the truth AND writing it down!

Every day as I sit in front of my computer I won't be able to escape the reflection of the woman who wants more than anything right now to tell her story and share it.   I just began reading Elizabeth Gilbert's best-selling memoir, "Eat, Pray, Love" and it's fucking brilliant.  Within just a few pages, I am whisked away into her world - a world she traveled around for a year and then wrote about it.  I wonder if all those beautiful, poignant and humorous sentences came easy for her.  I wonder what she's doing now that that part of her life is complete and is currently being read all over the planet. I hope the stories I'll tell in my book will resonate with and touch peoples' lives in a profound way like hers already has with mine.

This is my desk and this is where the writing of my book began today.  So far...the mirror is working.

Wish For What You Want

Wish for what you want and I swear the world will conspire to bring you whatever your heart desires.   It might not happen according to your own timeline, but it WILL happen.  I don't believe you can just place your order, sit back and be a patient spectator awaiting a windfall.  I believe you have to know what you want FIRST and then a hot-second after that is BELIEVING that you can have what you want. I think that's where most people's dreams fall by the wayside...we want what we want, but we don't believe we can have it. I sure as hell know that it works that way for me.        

An amazing thing happened to me today that reaffirmed what I just described above.   For quite awhile, I've wanted to have a professional photographer come and take pictures of me dancing on the beach.  I was clear I didn't want to pose for the camera or dress up in fancy clothes.  I just wanted to dance my dance and have someone capture it on film.  And that's exactly what happened today.

As I made my way down the beach, arms and legs flailing about to the rhythms of the music playing through my headphones, I noticed not one, but two photographers walking through the dunes towards me.  As they approached, I couldn't help but wonder what would happen next.  After sharing our respective stories about photography and dance, they asked permission if they could could take a few shots for their portfolios.  Twenty minutes later, with me slightly out of breath and the three of of us all agrin, they had the photographs they wanted and so did I.  One of the photographers promised he would send me some pictures and said I could use them for personal or professional use.  What did I say in my last post?  Tsunami is coming.  No kidding!

I want it and I believe it will happen...and the world is conspiring to help me bring it to life.   This past weekend, one of the things our dance retreat facilitator, Paula said was this, "If you want to be a part of something, sometimes you have to create it." Yup. Well said.  One of my favorite Oregon writers/artists (who used to live in Cannon Beach) has this to say about wishing for what you want:

"you are limitless potential...

so...

dare experience

reach beyond why

believe you have the courage

to realize all you dream. 

say "yes!"

to this day. "

   

End of day disclosure

I'm currently writing from a beautiful bed and breakfast in Bend, Oregon.  Friday is coming to a close in less than an hour and I'm squeaking in my daily post before the date changes over.  I'm here in this sunny mountain town to partake in a weekend movement workshop.  I danced my ass off tonight and rewarded myself with a couple of martinis and a delicious brownie.  Oh, it's so good to be bad sometimes! 

I'm not ready just yet to provide the explanation that will more readily explain the meaning behind my book's first sentence, but here it is in all its 7 word glory...

"I never forgot who I was with."

Of course it is subject to change as my book evolves over the next few months, but for right now...it's exactly the place I want to start from.

In the early morning light

It's a new day.  I awaken to the light and know it's at least an hour earlier than I normally open my eyes.  I struggle with the return of the dark season, when light is less and temperatures are cooler, but this morning I find myself thanking Mother Nature's wake-up call.

In the early morning light, I am in the moment sipping coffee.  I am washing dishes by candlelight.  I am listening to the lovely sounds of The Swell Season.  I am smelling the sweet notes of incense.  I am curious about what will appear next in my writing.  I am here right now beginning my day in a different way than I usually do.  Allowing words to find me.  Sitting with uncertainty.  Watching the breeze gently move the trees outside my window.  Beginning my day by writing what's in me.  Feeling tears form in the corners of my eyes.  Saying "Thank you, God" for another day.  In the early morning light, I am peace.   

Four Years Ago...

My husband, James and I met four years ago this weekend.  I am beyond words this evening as I'm about to join a warm body that's already in my bed.  I mean OUR bed.  I didn't write much today...it was my last day at work...I talked to a lot of people about my book and received quite a bit of feedback about my book's topic. Much to say about the past three days, but sleep calls to me now.  I swear I'm going to keep committed to blogging every day even if what I write is complete and utter crap.  I promised myself this and so much more in the next 90 days.  There's only 86 left now.

The Willingness to be Naked

My good friend, Carla has recently created something she calls My Sacred Life. Every day for at least the next month, she's going to be posting a photo from her daily life on her blog.  She's going to be raw, real and honest and she's invited others to join her.  I've said "Yes" to her invitation and I'm gonna play full out.  I'm ready to be vulnerable and naked literally and figuratively.

This photo of me was taken a few years ago at a very special place near Cannon Beach.  A girlfriend of mine spent a couple hours at the end of a spectacular October day photographing me naked on the sand, on the rocks and in the water.  Honestly, it was one of the most amazing experiences of my life.  I'm not a shy person (obviously) but I was a little nervous at first.  Denise made me feel completely comfortable and after awhile I forgot about being naked and remembered to just be me. 

The sense of freedom I felt was almost overwhelming.  I felt like an uninhibited child who has no concept of what being naked in a public setting means.   I felt like a magical mermaid who had come ashore to explore what being human felt like for a few moments.  I felt like a beautiful sensuous woman who was more than okay with exposing her skin to others flaws and all.  I felt like I could be naked for the rest of my life.   

Of course, I can't do that literally in most public places, but I can certainly do that metaphorically-speaking.   Hiding out serves no one.  Being raw, real and honest is the only way I can live my life now.  To be anything other than that is to not be me.  Thank you, Carla for creating your project and asking others to join you.  It is sacred indeed.