This past weekend I participated in the event shown in the photo above. Fright Night was created by my friend and fellow movement artist, Paula Byrne, to give people an opportunity to face what they fear in a playful and supportive way. This was no ordinary open mic. This event was not for those folks who have honed their craft and feel completely confident when stepping onto the stage to perform it. It was especially designed for us scaredy-cats to showcase something we've wanted to do, but have been reluctant (chicken) to try it out. And so...after pondering for a day or two whether or not I was ready to face a fear of mine, I said "Yes!" to being brave and told Paula I'd be there.
I am not a shy person. I consider myself to be an outgoing optimist who's willing to pretty much try anything at least once. I can sing karoke without drinking beforehand. I can dance on a beach naked. Public speaking does not leave me with butterflies in my stomach and feeling weak in the knees. I've led workshops and retreats and have given keynote addresses. And so what might I have to fear when standing on a stage and facing an audience when I've done it innumerable times?
Plenty.
When you do something you've wanted to do for the very first time, no matter how confident a person you are, it's damn frightening. But here's what I know from being on this planet for awhile and confronting a few of the things that scare me...the REAL scenario is never as scary as the one you IMAGINE it to be inside your head. I believe what makes us most afraid is often the very thing we need to experience in order to learn important lessons, grow as a human being, and live the life we're meant to live. Once again, I was reminded this past Saturday night that what lies just beyond our fear is freedom...freedom to do the things you want to do and be who you want to be.
So...with my heart thumping hard and my gut flip-flopping about, I stepped up to the microphone to introduce myself and then sat down in a chair with my fear. I closed my eyes, took a few deep breaths and then my mouth opened and out came the words. The words were my own that I had memorized. Only once as I recited my poem did I worry what the next line was. While some might have thought I paused a little longer for dramatic effect, it was then when I was facing my fear the most ~ forgetting a line and not knowing what came next. What came next was the freedom I mentioned above. No longer was reciting a poem from memory something I feared.
The applause and accolades I received from the audience moved me to tears and made my body dance, but it was the shift I made inside of me that was most profound. Bring on the fear (and the freedom) I say! What are you waiting for? Do something today that scares you.
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