Loving the parts of me I don't like

"Something we were withholding made us weak.  Until we found out that it was ourselves." ~Robert Frost

I really hate to admit I'm still learning to love myself.  Not just the parts and pieces of me I like and I'm confident about, but the ones that make me flawed and human.  The ones that sometimes whisper not-so-nice things in the middle of the night and the ones I can't help but see when I look in the mirror.  They're not physical attributes (although I wouldn't mind having straighter teeth, smoother skin, firmer thighs and rock-hard abs) they're the things I do (or don't do) that keep me from being more fully-expressed and living big.

Things like...

• Worrying about money all the time. 
• Comparing myself to others.
• Procrastinatinating and putting off things that are really important to me.
• Feeling like I always need to be doing something.  I hate to be bored.
• Unfairly judging people who have vastly different political viewpoints than mine.
• Flitting from one thing to another.  It's challenging for me to stay focused on one thing for long periods of time.
• Having way too much clutter and forgetting where I put things. (Might there be a connection there?  HELLO!!!)   

I'd love to point the finger and blame someone else for my blemishes and not-so-confident bits, but I'm old enough (and I like to think I'm wise enough now) to know better.  I take full responsibility for my life.  All of it.  What it's been, what it is right now and what it will be is of my own making and choosing.  Loving the parts of me I don't like is a life-long process.  I know this even though I'd like to believe I otherwise. Today I'm going to do the things that really nurture me and make me feel good so that when I look in the mirror all I see is love.

Comments

[Marijane]

Thank you for your vulnerability, and for the reminder that it's important to love ALL of ourselves, even the bits that are hard to embrace. It's just what I needed to read today!

[Angela]

I hug myself a lot when I'm feeling all those uncomfortable things, too. I think it's a good thing to do. Hope you're moving out of it and focusing on how wonderful, beautiful, caring and talented you are.

[Me]

I never would have guessed you didn't like something about yourself. However, I suppose you do display confidence like a shield at times. Perhaps the things that bother you about yourself would be eased if you allowed others to hear your worries. Realize that allowing someone to be able to acknowlegde you and your self-doubts just might make room for the clearity and truth we sometimes don't give ourselves. Don't worry that you might point out a human condition we all have at times. Believe it or not, you become more real and approachable when you share similar worries...in addition to the grand and wonderful things in life too.

[cheryl finley]

Hi there...I found your blog via Carla's Sacred Life Sunday project (I participated for a while). It's so synchronisitic that I zoned-in on "this post". I can relate to everything you mention here. Isn't it exhausting to charge ourselves as guilty for all of the things you mention; yet it's hard to not do it at times...that is until we realize that there is nothing wrong with us for being the way we are. It's a part of the experience of living...AND..we can shift things if we want (plus, flitting from project to project and clutter are a part of the creative, renaissance soul who love so many different things. That's a gift!!..problem is it's not widely recognized as such from the left-brained world. So..try to go easy on yourself dear heart. One fun, creative, insightful tool that can help is SoulCollage® which you can read about at my blogs: http://acapellasoul2.blogspot.com/
http://www.acapellasoul.blogspot.com/
Bringing all parts of ourselves to the light & finding out what they want for, and from us is incredibly liberating; that's what SoulCollage is designed to do. Plus..its' fun and creative..and lots of kindred spirits worldwide to journey with!

Another is reading Barbara Sher's book "Refuse to Choose" when you realize all that you describe above is a part of the soul of those who have a thirst for life..your energy will likely be renewed and self-acceptance restored. I was relieved (to tears) when I realized that this is just how some of us are "wired"...there's nothing to "fix"...really, nothing at all! Isn't that great!

I invite you to check them out, and feel free to keep in touch w/me about your insights and experiences with this. I'd love to hear about it.
Now...keep shining!
~Cheryl